I had an awesome time at yaoicon! That's what I tell everyone... the truth is I didn't....
First off I hate flying, it was part of the reason I didn't want to go, and to top it off my plane went through a storm making is almost impossible to fall back to sleep.
Second I didn't want to go that morning call it a bad omen or what have you but that morning I did not want to go at all, I wasn't excited like I was last year, there are nurmous reasons as to why but I really can't just put a finger on the true reason I did not want to go.
Third to make the start of this trip worst I missed my flight and had to pay $50 bucks to switch it, that was 50 bucks more money that I had to spend on this horrid trip.
Forth the rental service I had reserved a car through wanted to be asses and ask for a USAA card, something I don't have, thank goodness though that USAA is customer service oriented and the wonderfully talented rep Stephani helped me get things straight "I will take care of this" I loved it when she said that XXD .
Fifth, our car was fucking possessed!!! I mean like it wouldn't drive right, didn't realize until the last day that the license plate said 6evl on it, conciende? I think not!
Sixth I dumped not only once but fucking three times, the big one in JapanTown making the trip short and worrying everyone and the other two I kept to myself. On that same note my blood sugar would not stay level it kept dropping and when it did rise only a little bit. I was very dizzy during the whole trip
Seventh the bishis I don't know who let most of them in but most of them were not hot did not have any sex appeal or talent they truly sucked and the good ones some screwed them selves up with bad acts and them a lot of them did not perform in the auction at all, really sad...
The eight and final problem with this trip my stupid heart...
I admit I was in a strong like with a specific bishi, from last year, and not to long ago I found out that I was the only one with these kinds of feeling, he had gotten a girlfriend within the year between cons and he is really into her I can tell, so needless to say he was MIA during the con or should I say I really didn't see him... I saw all his cosplays... at first I was going to be coy but something came over me and I felt ugly and worthless, I didn't catch his eye at all or anyone's, even when I cosplayed myself, its like a big smack in the face that everything I'm going through, all the pain I'm putting myself through all this effort! ITS FOR FUCKING NO REASON!!! To top it off I've been in a bad mood all day because now I'm very close to 250lbs!!! I'm back tracking in weight loss and its has me really upset I'm going to try to get back to working out and eating a little better than I have but over the weekend all I really had was eggs and beef!!! I don't know... my thyroid could of copped out all together I have to go to the doctor and see... but my heart hurts... I erased his number and slowly let his messages disappear from my phone , today he is no longer in my phone...i'm not as torn today as i was sunday and monday but it still hurts, mostly because I'm lonely. I have never had a true boyfriend and no one finds me attractive and the ones that do find me attractive is either family or someone that wants in my pants and that just makes me so fucking sick. He was cute, he has big ears so cute...need to stop thinking/talking about him.... and we are still trying to figure out who the fuck he was waving at during closing ceremonies, but now I must move on from him... as much as I don't want to...I'll get over it but I feel myself slipping and going down that path I was on a few months ago

Yay I'm done sewing this nightmare!!!! Now its time to style it XD I created this beauty using this tutorial! Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what I should style it as. Its gonna be loli but there are a lot of different styles out there and I just want to know what ppl would like to see.

I don't know what I'm going to do this year T_T I want to go to YaoiCon again but unfortunately this year it starts on the day of my Nursing Exam T_T I don't know what to do *sniff*

'I decided over a week ago for some odd reason to type in "gothic lolita" in to Yahoo search and just like Alice who fell into the rabbit hole I was hooked on Gothic Lolita Culture. Now don't get me wrong I've always thought the girls of the Gothic Lolita Culture were pretty I never thought I would be considering being one of them... until now. So now here i sit sewing my first loli outfit for my first con... it excites me so... can you tell....

It's funny how much you realized that you have moved around when your a military brat. Doing my school list for LJ I realized that I've been to 3 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, 2 high school, plus 2 colleges >_< But hey I've meet a lot of cool people along the way and learned many lessons on culture and respect because of the moving around.